So, I’m finally home. Its been a rough and demanding couple of last weeks, but for sure I’ve had a lot of fun too! I’ve been thinking about what to write about here, my thoughts and impressions of what I’ve just experienced, but I’m coming up short. I don’t think I’ve fully possessed everything yet. Whats easy to say is that for sure this wasn’t the results I was hoping for. I had higher expectations, but I’ve learned more about how I deal with that part of me also. Mentally I pulled the carpet out from under myself this championships.
There are parts which I’m very pleased about; like the downhill part of the super combined; It doesn’t really matter what you do in training when its in races everything counts. In the SC I finally managed to pull out some of my best skiing and yes, I am satisfied with the result. I skied with the confidence I’ve been missing lately to just go for it no matter what. I did get pulled out some places, hands flying in the air like I was on a freaking Beyonce concert, but I still managed to bring the speed and for that I’m more than pleased. Now, the slalom isn’t the best and for sure I know that, but I can’t really be disappointed either with the lack of both races and training. In total, it was a very happy day! For the rest I would say I’m a bit disappointed. As for the rest I would say I’m a bit disappointed. The downhill race I just shit-canned out of this world. My mind make sure of that. Its hard when you know you are working against yourself all the time, but your doing your best to change your way of thinking and nothing works. Its kinda digging your own grave…There will be some changes here.
In GS I’ve been skiing good lately and nothing of that came out on the race day. That is what hurts the most. When you know your good enough, but you can’t get it out and show for it. The higher expectations you have, the longer the fall when you don’t make it. I’ll easily admit there were a couple of tears falling that day, but it is all about how you turn it around. I managed to change it a little for the second run, but not good enough! I need to take a breather and just restart again. I know I’m gonna jump back into it in no time. For the moment I’m just riding the roller coaster called “Life”.
Coming here, I have a lot of butterflies! I can feel the tension, the nerves and a beaming wish that I’m gonna be good enough! This is the main event this season…The highlight of the year…I’ve been saving up for this for a long time…
SHOPPING IN THE US!!! Oh…did I just say that out loud?!
Noooo… All the above is true though, but less the shopping and more the skiing. World Champs is finally here! A chance to officially become the best in the world at what you use so many hours, sweat and tears trying to perfect. I’ve earlier written about my love for this country and I have no less of it now. The first DH training ended up WAAAAAY better than expected…or actually WAAAAAY better than what anyone thought I would do. Me included… And I was just bragging about my 14th place in St.Moritz coming in here, and here I am skiing into second position in the first training…AND it is DOWNHILL people…. Now, calm your horses!! I am absolutely aware that this is – first of all, just a training run. Second, it was one hell of a windy day, so you can’t really put to much into timing and stuff. Thirdly I have never been in this position before so you would think something happened to the rest of them, which it probably did, but you know what?! I don’t care cause that was AWESOME… and something I absolutely would do again…multiple times. Right then and there I pulled out some of my best skiing, and that was good enough that day.
This slopes here suits me perfectly for whatever discipline we are racing in. Well, since I am writing this post-SG race, I would say it could have suited me a little better…but as I told anyone who asked me recently – it was not my best day at work. It happens sometimes… Sometimes you just want it too much that it just messes with your head in stead. There are many reasons why that happened, most of which are in my head. If someone cracked it open to check my “machinery” I think they would have found someone trying their best at making scrambled eggs – and failing miserably. Its like a tornado of thoughts flying around and me freaking out trying to calm it down. Sometimes I do a stellar job at that = good, stable skiing…sometimes I basically just say “Fuck this” – throw in the towel, and slowly walk away from the mess whistling a tune. I would really like to get an insight on what the winners are thinking. Cause they obviously have got their shit together. Anypoo, I have 4 more events and 4 more clean sleeves to do it with. First up DH on Friday. Just because I was fast in training does not automatically mean I’m gonna do great in the race, but obviously thats what I’m going for; Skiing the best I can do, cause If I can manage to do that one more time, I know I will be happy with the result. Even though if its not gonna be a podium or a victory. If its the best I could do then and there, I will be happy with it! So hang in there folks, I am coming, its just a matter of time.